Pepper Spray of an 8 Year Old?

Question: How can you tell if a blond is really dumb?

Answer: If she has a show on Faux (Fox) news!

Can you believe Gretchen Carlson? She said, on the air, that she supports the Florida Police pepper spraying of an 8 year old who was holding a small piece of molding. My God, they have clubs that they can knock the stick out of his hands with. They can talk him down like Gibbs does on NCIS. I know a lot of Police and am happy to say that none of them would have resorted to pepper spray, they are much too intelligent.

We didn’t have pepper spray when I was growing up, we had “THE LOOK”. Mom would let me get away with just so much and then I got “THE LOOK” and it was over. If she owned Faux News it would be a reputable source of what is going on in the world and give much better advice.

Save the Chocolate Biscotti

Sometime around Christmas Starbucks discontinued offering their Chocolate Biscotti.  It was there, then they replaced it with something they said was seasonal, and now it is gone.  The employees I have talked to didn’t even know it was discontinued, they thought it was just temporarily unavailable (you know, a biscotti that is misplaced in a storage building wouldn’t taste much different).  Sounds like they were lied to.

I think it is a conspiracy.  A conspiracy to ruin the health of Americans.  Everybody knows that Chocolate is basically a health food.  It’s a bean, beans are vegetables, and vegetables give us better health hence Starbucks is attempting to make Americans sick.

Maybe Jamie Lee Curtis is involved.  You know she does those Activia commercials, Activia makes you poop, dark chocolate is a laxative.  Come to think of it our soldiers are given dark chocolate it C Rations for that very purpose.  Damn, Starbucks and Curtis may not support our troops.  This is downright un-American.

Maybe it is an anti-Italian thing. You know, biscotti is Italian, the best chocolate is from Italy ,  Oh, where have you gone Joe DiMaggio.

I asked my Sister-In-Law Carol and she agrees with me.  Carol knows everything there is to know about chocolate in fact when she eats some she can tell you what farm in Ghana it came from.  She has a relationship with chocolate that may be illegal in Southern states.  I think they still have a restraining order against her in Hershey , PA.  Can’t come closer than Pettsville.   When she found that chocolate had the same type fat as olive oil she mixed it with vinegar and water and poured it on lettuce and tomatoes.  Anyway Carol told me:

1.       Chocolate may prevent acne.  She also said it may not since the Pennsylvania School of Medicine and the U.S. Naval Academy have determined chocolate has nothing to do with acne so you may as well eat it.

2.       It contains oleic acid and mono-unsaturated fat which may raise HDL (good cholesterol).

3.       Chocolate has been prescribed for people with tuberculosis.

4.       While eating large amounts can cause you to put on pounds, some people have hot chocolate before meals to curb their appetite and an English firm had good results by having patients sniff a chocolate aroma patch before they ate.

5.       1.5 oz of milk chocolate contains 15% of your daily Riboflavin need, 9% of calcium, 7% of iron, and 3 grams of protein.  It’s a fricken “health food”.

6.       A Harvard University study claims that men who eat chocolate live 1 year longer than their counterparts.  I’m sure that men who don’t eat chocolate feel like they live 10 years longer.

7.       Some doctors, especially in Mexico , prescribe chocolate for bronchitis.

8.       Chocolate can be used in the treatment of bee stings.

9.       While beer has been making the opposite sex good looking for centuries only chocolate gets you close enough for it to matter.

10.   The chemicals in chocolate can mimic the effects of marijuana but you have to eat 25 lb at one sitting to get high.

11.   According to the Mayo Clinic chocolate contains flavonoids which can be beneficial in cardiovascular health.

12.   Chocolate contains antioxidants which may prevent or delay certain damages to the body’s cells and tissues.

So, you see, chocolate is great for you and starbucks has discontinued selling chocolate biscotti’s so they must be against us being healthy.  It’s a travesty.

Now, what to do.  Do what I did and send them an e-mail demanding that they bring back the chocolate biscotti.  If you don’t know what to say just cut and past the following paragraph.  Then tell your friends and when Starbucks hears from enough people I’m sure they will do what is right.

DON’T just forward this entire post to them because they will never get it.  Remember, they are a corporation and while the Supreme Court thinks they are human, corporations have no sense of humor.  Just listen to a Utility or Gas company.  Their address is info@Starbucks.com

********

Subject:  Chocolate Biscotti

Dear Star Buck,

I want to make America healthy.  As far as I’m concerned chocolate is a “vegetable” and thus a “health food”.  It is being researched by the Mayo Clinic, Pennsylvania School of Medicine, U. S. Naval Academy, Harvard University, and Uncle Bob’s R & D Factory and Auto Garage for it’s effects on health.  So far we know that chocolate may or may not cure bronchitis, lower bad cholesterol, help fight heart disease and cancer, reduce obesity, and make people horny and regular.

One of the best sources of chocolate is in your “chocolate biscotti” which you have discontinued.  I’m asking that you help make America healthy and bring back the “chocolate biscotti”.

Thank you

***********

Thank you for joining me in the important effort to make America healthy by bringing back the chocolate biscotti.  A chocolate biscotti is the least they can do for a $3+ cup of coffee.

Take care

Ed

PS: that stuff about my Sister-In-Law wasn’t all true.  She does love chocolate more than anyone I know but she is allowed everywhere in Pennsylvania (though as a Clevelander she stays away from Pittsburgh) and has the sense of humor to appreciate mine.

MS Walk 2011 Highlights

Looks like the MS Walk was even better this year. More people, more financial support, more donations, more volunteers, and more new friends. Our Team donations were up so high we made the honor role (but there is still time to donate if you would like. Just send me an email or make a comment on this post).

Thanks to everyone who is helping find a cure for Multiple Sclerosis. We are going to find one.

Meatloaf Tray?

I recently saw an ad on TV for a meatloaf tray.  It kept the meatloaf elevated so the grease would stay on the bottom and not soak the loaf which is the reason most homemade meatloaves come out bad.  Major waste of money.  If you want to fix the problem just put a slice or two of bread under the loaf and give it to the birds when you are done.

Now meatloaf cooking isn’t the real reason for this post, you can find a fine recipe in my other blog, it is to warn you about what is passing itself on as “informative” advertising.  Advertisers believe that when you see something on TV you will not question the reliability and purchase the item based on the claims of the manufacturer.  I’m sure the meatloaf tray works, but why spend the money when there is a much more economical solution.

Another ad represents a company that offers reverse mortgages.  It has a well know actor with a pleasing voice who tells you to “trust” him.  Why?  There is nothing in the ad giving his background in finance or any other related expertise.  Could be a good product and it could be a good company but don’t just do it because an actor said trust me.

The worst one though is a so-called “Christian” dating service.  No affiliation with any Christian church but they do strongly imply that God is behind them.  Come on.  If you want some help from God in finding a date then go volunteer at your church.

I’m not asking you to “trust me” on this, I’m asking you to trust yourself.  Look into the subject before you waste your money.,

Just Think About It

I’m not getting religious on you but I want to use a biblical story to make a point.  We have all heard the story of the loaves and fishes.  A bunch of people come to hear Jesus speak and they have to be fed.  Some Apostles find a boy with a few loaves of bread and a couple fish, Jesus says a prayer, and he feeds the multitudes.

Nice story, could be true, may not be.  That is up to you but I’m going to give you a little different view.  I think it is one you can kick around in your mind during some down time and get something out of.

Most people believe that the miracle was feeding so many people from such a low supply.  Do you really believe that all those people came unprepared?  Doesn’t it make more sense to believe some of them actually brought food to munch on?  Did you ever go to a baseball game or concert without a few dollars for a hot dog and beer and maybe some candy in your pocket?  These were people who never had a 7-Eleven they could stop at so they planned to bring what they needed, like food.

Now you know from other New Testament stories that Jesus appealed to more than just Jews.  He had Romans, Egyptians, Samarians, rich, poor, businessmen, laborers, farmers, fishermen, beggars, tax collectors, and more.  These were people who didn’t like each other normally and probably didn’t speak to each other.  I really doubt they would share their food with each other.

So maybe the miracle wasn’t feeding everyone from the meager contents of some little kids’ lunch box.  Just maybe it was getting everybody to share.  If you think that would be a lesser miracle just watch your legislators in action.  Democrats, Republicans, Independents, Liberals, Conservatives, middle of the roaders.  Watch how your neighbors and co-workers group based on age, sex, and position. 

Now isn’t that a miracle you can think about?  Isn’t it something we can all strive for?

I was thinking about this when Congress was fumbling with the national budget.  They had their beliefs that their mind fed on and didn’t want to consider other beliefs.  Maybe some of the people in the crowd didn’t like the fish

Two Things To Ponder

One: Do horny robots visit hardware stores?

Two: Do Senior Citizens make terrible terrorists?  They leave the house for some grocery shopping and begin to wonder if they turned off the timing mechanism.  (You may have to be older to appreciate this one)

A Fun Way To See A New Place

Nancy and I have taken Ghost Tours throughout the Mid-Atlantic area over the past few years and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Did you know that the first person killed by the John Brown group that attacked Harpers Ferry was a freed slave or where Edgar Allen Poe had his last drink? How about some tales of the Pirates who lived in the Outer Banks or the mysterious woman at the Gadsby’s Tavern in Alexandria? Guides who are often dressed in period garb spend a great deal of time teaching the small crowds about everyday life at the time as well as telling their haunting stories.

Treat yourself to an enjoyable evening lasting one to two hours. The Ghost Tour may well be what your friends remember most when you tell them of your trip.

Airport Security

Every now and then there is a video on the internet or TV news about a little kid being patted down at the airport.  People post how stupid it is to think a pre-schooler will carry a bomb, ABC news interviews the outraged parents and NBC tells how many days since Michael Jackson died that this happened.  Well I think it is a good idea.

I am not looking to have a family member, a friend, or myself blown-up because some idiot strapped a bomb to their child and committed suicide while killing over 100 innocent passengers, That is the real problem.  When I was stationed overseas I learned of a woman who hid a grenade under her little baby because she knew soldiers would drop their guard when they saw the little one.

In New York a woman drove her van into the Hudson River killing herself and three of her four children.  They trusted her and stayed in their seats.  What would be so hard about putting an explosive in a diaper like the Christmas Bomber did when he hid one in his underwear?

Sure, TSA is a pain in the butt when they hold us up for searches before we take a flight but remember, we arrive at our destination.  Give them a break, they are doing their job protecting us.

Crooks are Dumb

It’s tax season and a recent news show commented on how to tell if your identity has been stolen.  One of the ways they pointed out concerned e-filing tax returns.  If you attempt to file your taxes over the internet and it is rejected because someone has already filed under that social security number then your identity has been compromised.  Imagine, someone has stolen your identity, taken your money, and then filed a tax return to claim the income.  That has to be one of the dumbest things I have heard of.

Bathtub Drains

Do you have a problem with your bathtub drain?  I did and I put it off for a while because I thought it would require a lot of work.  I have fixed sink drains in the past (See my post in March 2011) and figured a tub drain would work about the same but be harder to get to.  Finally I secured the time I thought I would need and began the job.

First I looked at how I would get to it.  There should be an access panel behind the tub and sure enough mine was in the closet.  I took everything out of the closet, cleaned it up while I was there, took off the panel and scratched my head.  It didn’t look at all like the sink.

To make a long story short, I went back to the tub, used a simple screw driver to take off the overflow cap, pulled up the chain that was attached to the lever and found that it was much simpler than a sink.  I went to the hardware store, bought the correct part and fixed it.  Just look at this picture and you can see what I mean.  I could have told Nancy that it took half the day when in fact it should have taken 20 minutes tops and had a lot of time for myself but it did take a few hours because I lost all that time tearing the closet apart, cleaning it, and putting it back together.

Sometimes it is just better to go to a local hardware store, swallow your pride, and ask what you have to do.

Feel Good About Your Free Time

We all have free time and though we have earned it we tend to feel bad about having it.  Well, use it for something good.  Donate your time as a volunteer for some organization.  It can be a few hours on a weekend or some continuing commitment, doesn’t matter really.  You will feel better about yourself and make the world better for others.

I started helping the Multiple Sclerosis Society at their annual Walk many years ago.  It was half a day, once a year, and I felt good all year long.  Now I do a lot more but then I have more time and this isn’t about me, it is about you.  There are a lot of things you can do for a charity that nobody ever thinks about.  When a charity has an event where do you think those tents, tables, supplies, etc. come from?  Where do they disappear to when the event is over?  Our local MS Society has had teams of volunteers from the Air Force and Maryland University loading and unloading trucks.  Two hours work, meet new people, and feel good forever.

The different walks can last from 3 miles to 2 days and they always have at least one rest stop.  These are usually manned by volunteers who are often from a company or organization.  Get your bowling team together for three hours and pass out water and bananas.

Please, don’t say you are too busy.  An old colleague of mine once said “if you want something done, ask a busy person.”  I have fun, feel good about myself, and help raise over a million dollars to help find a cure for MS.  I may never win a Pulitzer Prize but I do feel like my life has a meaning.

Our MS Chapter actually has a woman who runs her own Walk, basically a neighborhood pot luck, and they send all the donations to the MS Society.  What the heck.

If you want to sit on this for a while but can donate a few dollars now, just go to http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR?px=4065717&pg=personal&fr_id=14712&et=KTFxOwscQsXwiSVaN4YStQ..&s_tafId=165640 and make your donation on-line.  I’ll make sure it goes to the right place and you will begin feeling great.

What to Say

We all have, or will have, friends and relatives suffering from something.  It can be cancer, a heart attack, accident, job loss, diverse, or some other catastrophe and we want to show our support.  Unfortunately finding the correct words can be almost impossible or worse yet, we don’t know how bad the words are.  This can be even harder if you are close, like an Uncle or Aunt.  Let me try to help.

You see I had a heart attack once, my Wife has cancer, both my parents have died, the son of a friend was killed in a traffic, accident and another committed suicide so I have been around grief a few times and learned from both the good and bad approaches.  Hopefully I can help you help someone else and yourself at the same time.

First, don’t tell them about someone who died from the same disease.  There really is nothing worse, when confronted with your own mortality, to hear about people who didn’t make it.  Or, when grieving over the loss of a loved one to find out that their death is no more than a notch on your scorecard.  It does not make them feel good.  Please, don’t do it.

Second, don’t tell them about your own sickness.  Think about this for a second.  There they are stricken with leukemia and you are telling them about your dysentery.  Not at all comforting.

Third, while you can and should give them words of encouragement don’t refer to them as a “survivor”.  Of course letting them know they will survive is a good thing but don’t replace their life long identity with something that will always remind them of their illness.  Wait a while.  When they are comfortable with their ability to reach the future they will let you know that they are a “survivor” and then you can feel good and use it yourself.

The idea is to put yourself in their place, let them know they have your support and the two of you will always share the same relationship you had before.  Something along the lines of “I just heard you were sick (they know the what the illness is so you don’t have to repeat it) and wanted to remind you that if there is anything I can do just let me know,  Need a ride somewhere, some shopping done, want me to cook something up so you only have to heat it?  All I ask is that you make me a list of the drugs they give you that give a good buzz.”  The drug comment is only for laughs but if you don’t feel good with it then use “if they give you anything that helps real quick please let the Browns know because I have a lot of money riding on the Steelers game Sunday.”  This can also be left on call-waiting or written in a card.  By the way, if you are sending a card then write something of your own or be counted as one of those people who are just being polite.

What I mean is let them know you care, that you want to help and they can count on you, that you are a source of encouragement, and that your relationship will always continue.

The Tea Party

 So, what Party does the Tea Party really belong in? Over the years, especially since 1980, the Republican Party has prided itself on presenting an image of unanimity. One focus, everyone in support of one course, no public internal dissent. Quite an accomplishment when you consider the large number of people needed to subscribe to such an action. The Democratic Party has been an accumulation of differing views which by nature causes public debate and a multitude of interesting options. Dissenters call Republicans “conservative” and Democrats “liberal” but facts don’t support the claims.

Now we have the Tea Party which advocates definite conservative views, was born within weeks of the inauguration of President Obama, gives voice to certain Republican speakers and candidates and is thus considered an arm of the GOP. But are they? I have been watching the situation with some interest and question that conclusion.

First, you can not listen to what the Tea Party “says” because that is filtered through well intentioned news sources who are reporting on what one person or one group is claiming and not how the total membership is advocating. For this you have to look at intelligent polling data and then use some common sense. Second, forget the message from impromptu gatherings at the Capitol Building since it isn’t practical to believe a representative group of Tea Baggers can leave their jobs or come from anywhere that isn’t close.

So, what are we left with? Apparently Tea Baggers believe government spending must be cut drastically before anything else is done but not to programs that they want (not any different from any other group). Some put the emphasis on cutting the National debt but they are opposed by those who think the budget deficit is more important. Some want the United States to become isolated from the outside world while others believe that aggressive warfare with unconditional surrender is better. Most Party members feel our taxes are excessive yet a majority of them also believe corporations make too high a profit. There is a faction guarding the military budget facing off with possibly a larger bloc reminding us that million dollar toilets are the product of the Pentagon. Most surprising is the fact that the Religious Right is more prone to be members of the Tea Party but Tea Party members don’t join the Religious Right in astounding numbers.

In short they are diverse, they debate in public, they are only a little more religious than the norm, they hate taxes, and they don’t want to be lead around by a ruling, dictatorial, minute troupe of self-serving people. Quite frankly, if they learn to compromise and play with the other kids at the park, they would resemble a component of the Democratic Party more than the Republican Party.